- #Crackers speed shop flamingo cracker
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Stephen why are you late for school? I was dreaming of a football match and it went into extra timeħ.
#Crackers speed shop flamingo full
Got a Christmas card full of rice today, I think it was from my Uncle Ben.ĥ. Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud – Yes, it’s fresh ground!Ĥ. Did you know that Santa’s not allowed to go down chimneys this year? It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.ģ. Why is it so difficult to train dogs to dance? They have two left feet! Bonus Round!ġ. What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Father Christmas? A rebel without a Clausĥ0. Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh ?Because he wanted to see time flyĤ9. What happens to the elves when they are naughty? Santa gives them the sackĤ8. Why is everyone so thirsty at the north pole? No well, no well!Ĥ7. Why did the turkey cross the road? Because he wasn’t chicken!Ĥ5. How do you recognise a Christmas tree from BHS? All the branches have goneĤ6. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!Ĥ3. What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Krisp Kringle!Ĥ2. What do you call a bankrupt Santa? Saint Nickel-less!Ĥ1.
Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up in the sky? Looks like rain, dear!ģ4. Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!ģ6. When do vampires like racing? When it’s neck and neckģ7. Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horseģ8. What do you call a train loaded with toffee? A chew chew trainģ9. Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deerĤ0. What do you call a blind reindeer? No eye deerģ2. What’s the difference between Ryanair and Santa? Santa flies at least once a year!ģ3. What did Mrs. Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrrģ0.
#Crackers speed shop flamingo tv
What’s a horses favourite TV show? NeighboursĢ9. Why does Santa put chimneys on Tinder? Because he wants them to be swept rightĢ8. What happened when Santa went speed dating? He pulled a crackerĢ6. What do the royal family play at Christmas instead of musical chairs? Game Of ThronesĢ5. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!Ģ4. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? Lost What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumperĢ2. Why hasn’t anyone ever stolen a canal? It has too many lochsĢ3. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple? A pineappleĢ0. What do you call a three-legged donkey? A wonky donkeyġ9. What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers? A nervous wreckġ8. What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!ġ7. What did Santa say to the smoker? Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!ġ6. Who is Santa’s favorite singer? Elf-is Presley!ġ5.
Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ‘ho ho ho’!ġ4. What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!ġ2. Why ddid the hedgehog cross the road? – To see his flat mateġ0. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quackerġ1. What’s the difference between the clementine in your Christmas stocking and Donald Trump? Nothing, they’re both a little orangeĩ. What’s David Cameron’s favourite Christmas song? All I Want For Christmas is EUĨ. How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brusselsħ. On which side do chickens have the most feathers? The outsideĥ. What’s white and goes up? A confused snowflakeĤ. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spyģ. Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party? He’s a fun guy to be withĢ. Here’s hoping no one roasts your chestnuts over an open fire at this years’ Christmas shindig!ġ.
#Crackers speed shop flamingo cracker
If you’re wanting to stuff the breasts of your colleagues, friends and family with laughter (or, snuff the Christmas party mood quicker than a mulled wine scented candle) peruse our top picks for Christmas cracker Jokes. Needless to say, it didn’t exactly go down a treat! Therefore, to spice it up, he added the famous bang – the rest is history!
It is indeed the most wonderful time of the year! As your Christmas party creeps closer, so does the time-old tradition of pulling your cracker! The origin of the Christmas cracker dates back to 19th century London, where a sweet shop owner tried to cash-in on the French bon-bon craze.
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